Wandering Stars
by Zenoah
Summary: Satoshi and Krad weirdness. -_-


Wandering Stars  
a D.N.Angel fic by Sakura  
(lan@neutralred.net)  
  
_ This is possibly about as non-canon as fanon  
could ever get, so if you completely disagree with  
the stuff here, I don't blame ye. But please  
contain the flames, onegai? -_-;  
  
C&C always more than welcome, and please do not  
archive this fic elsewhere. D.N.Angel owned by the  
infamous Bunny Sensei and Kadokawa and all those other  
big companies who could kill me by stalling one measly  
installment. Yadaaaaaaaa.  
  
I was listening to Portishead's "Wandering Star" on  
continuous repeat while writing this, so... Oo;  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
//Please could you stay awhile to share my grief  
For its such a lovely day  
To have to always feel this way  
And the time that I will suffer less  
Is when I never have to wake...//  
  
He knew it couldn't be real, it just couldn't happen.  
The dream of capturing Dark, the blurry images that flashed  
in front of his eyes every night, the feverish emotions that  
ran through him every time he felt the kaitou pinned under  
his hands, at his mercy...  
  
And the terror and pleading that convulsed through the clear  
amber eyes that stared back at him, asking him to let go,  
let loose the only goal of his life.  
  
Satoshi clenched his teeth, holding back the venomous curses  
that threatened to escape at any moment. Curse his life,  
curse his family, his blood, his own soul for being torn  
between duty and this unfamiliar aching in his heart whenever  
he saw that soft smile on the smaller boy's face, reserved  
only for her, and no one else...  
  
Not even himself. And he knew, it would always be that way,  
and he never dared asked for anything more than the quiet,  
bittersweet pleasure in just watching, knowing.  
  
The stark, cold emptiness of his room seeped into his body  
as he clung desperately to himself, silently breathing in  
the septic night air. It could have very well been a hospital  
surgery room and he wouldn't have felt the difference.  
  
So white. Just like those nightmares that woke him up  
every night.  
  
Clean, stark, white, brilliant and shining, free of anything  
that might taint that endlessly clear shade of space devoid of  
emotions.  
  
Himself? Perhaps. He couldn't feel anything. He wasn't  
allowed to.  
  
//Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved  
The blackness of darkness forever  
Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved  
The blackness of darkness forever...//  
  
He wished desperately that time would pass him by so he wouldn't  
be left alone in this darkness. A darkness illuminated only  
by the pale moonlight than shone in, reflecting off the clean  
white room, the white bed, off his own white hands that  
clenched harder onto his own arms, desperately warding off...  
  
Darkness?  
  
He didn't know any more. What was dark, what was light,  
what was truly the deception and the lie, the coldness that seeped  
into his empty soul, eating at his sanity day after night after  
sleepless morning...  
  
//... Those who have seen the needles eye, now tread  
Like a husk, from which all that was, now has fled  
And the masks, that the monsters wear  
To feed, upon their prey...//  
  
Warm hands.  
  
A pair of pale hands, long and graceful and white, reached around  
Satoshi and closed around the trembling fists that tore at  
his shirt, for an instant covering them completely and holding  
them down...  
  
"Sabishii desu ka? Satoshi-/sama/..."  
  
Satoshi made no sound, and if he was terrified at all, his heart  
beats betrayed no sign. And yet he could feel the other *smirk* -  
a gesture as false as his own cold face, as real. The soft,  
warm mouth now lingered near his left ear, letting out shallow  
breaths that made him involuntarily shudder.  
  
"I am always here for you... you know that better than anyone..."  
  
A slick tongue licked his earlobe gently, and Satoshi had to  
squeeze his eyes shut to concentrate on staying still. Krad  
smiled softly and rested his head on the smaller boy's shoulder.  
He knew that the pale-haired boy was struggling inside.  
  
"... Why are you here."  
  
It was more of a statement than a question, perhaps. Satoshi allowed  
himself the small liberty of leaning his cheek against the  
head full of soft blond hair, breathing in the warm, musky scent  
of his own half, a fragrance that betrayed none of the iciness  
that colored the other's eyes... identical blue to his own.  
  
"... I am always here for you. When you need me..."  
  
Krad shifted his grasp so that the smaller boy leaned in against  
his broad shoulders, his arms coiled tightly around Satoshi's  
body.  
  
"When no one else can hear your cry in the night... You know I'm  
always here."  
  
Satoshi didn't even feel like struggling. He knew this was just  
another dream, an apparition that had its own will - a will to take  
over him and control him completely. And he didn't feel like  
putting up a fight.  
  
What was the use, when he could feel the blinding white of the  
night seep into his body, leaving a trail of emptiness in his soul?  
Wasn't it better to fill it with the dull grey of times forgotten,  
of wishes never spoken, of a desire so terrible that it shouldn't  
be mentioned-?  
  
Krad nuzzled the tousled blue head affectionately, breaking Satoshi  
out of his wandering train of thought.  
  
"Look... outside the window... the stars are shining... aren't  
they beautiful? They're wandering... just like you, Satoshi-sama...  
wandering in the dark night because the neon lights of the city  
blind those below them, trapping their beauty and forcing them  
back into the celestial realms..."  
  
It's just too beautiful tonight to feel this lonely...  
  
"What is black, and what is white, do you wonder? Why are the stars  
drifting across the sky like this? Aren't we the ones who are  
wandering in the night, the ones who truly have no place to go  
except... back to each other?"  
  
He knew, but he didn't want to say.  
  
"I am here."  
  
He closed his eyes. Sometimes lies were warmer than the truth.  
  
"... I know."  
  
----------------------------------------------owari---------------  
  
O_O I don't like the ending. But this thing has been rotting  
in my harddrive for the last, geh, month. I needed to get it  
done and over with. _ C&C always welcome at lan@neutralred.net.  
Domo. m(_ _)m 


End file.
